Why Listening Isn't a Soft Skill: A Leader's Secret Weapon

Dr. Niklas Richter · 2026-02-12

Let's be honest for a second. We've all been in meetings where someone says they're listening, but you can see they're just waiting for their turn to talk. Their eyes glaze over, they nod on autopilot. It's not really listening, is it? It's just polite waiting. That's why I wanted to share this conversation with Evy Gruyaert. She's been a media presence for 25 years, but today, she's not on screen as a host. She's the co-founder of All Ears, an organization that helps companies structurally embed real listening into how they work. And she makes a powerful case: listening isn't a soft skill. It's not some fluffy, empathetic add-on for HR workshops. It's a core professional tool. It's the sharpest instrument you have for understanding problems, making better decisions, and building teams that actually last. ### The Myth of Polite Waiting Evy explained how, for years, listening was her most important tool—long before she had the words or a business to describe it. We confuse listening with simply being quiet until we can speak again. We're so busy formulating our own response, our brilliant counterpoint, that we miss what's actually being said. Our brains are wired to fill in gaps from our own 'backpack' of experiences. We assume we know what someone means. That's where mistakes are born, and opportunities are lost. ### The Power of Slowing Down Here's a counterintuitive truth Evy shared: you have to slow down to move faster. When you truly listen, you catch the nuances. You hear the unspoken worry behind a team member's status update. You understand the real client need hiding beneath their request. That clarity prevents costly missteps and rework down the line. - We mistake listening for waiting to talk. - We fill in blanks with our own assumptions. - Slowing down creates faster, more accurate results. - Safety and trust are the bedrock of a listening culture. ### What Leaders Get Wrong About Feedback This was a big one. Leaders often say they're 'open to feedback.' But Evy points out what's usually underestimated. It's not about having an open door. It's about what happens *after* someone walks through it. Do they feel safe? Are their ideas acknowledged, even if not implemented? Or is there subtle punishment for speaking up? "Safety and trust aren't just nice-to-haves," she noted. "They're the real foundations of a strong company culture. Without them, your 'open door' is just a decoration." That's the work All Ears does within organizations. It's not about teaching a technique. It's about building the environment where real, structural listening can happen. And the concrete results? Better alignment, more innovation from all levels, and growth that's sustainable because it's built on truly understanding your people and your market. So next time you're in a conversation, try it. Don't just wait. Actually listen. You might be surprised by what you've been missing.